Selling a home should be a polished, professional affair, but sometimes it turns into a circus thanks to realtors with questionable judgment. From property descriptions that leave you scratching your head to photos that make you wonder if they were taken by a toddler, here’s a look at the absurdity of real estate marketing gone wrong.
1. Property Descriptions: The Art of Saying Nothing
Picture this: You’re scrolling through listings, and you come across a property description that’s either overly vague or downright bizarre. It’s as if the agent forgot they were supposed to be selling a house and decided to write a cryptic poem instead.
- The Vague Description: “Charming home with lots of potential.” Potential for what? Haunted house tours? A horror movie set?
- The Overly Detailed: “Includes a 1970s shag carpet in a hue best described as ‘burnt orange’ and a kitchen layout perfect for an avant-garde cooking show.” Too much information about all the wrong things.
2. Photo Fails: The Gallery of Horrors
Then there are the photos. Oh, the photos. Nothing says “buy this house” like a picture of a dog doing its business on the lawn, or a blurry image where you can’t tell if it’s a bedroom or a broom closet.
- Pet Poopers: A cute dog can sell a home, sure. But a dog caught mid-poop? Not so much.
- Tiny Thumbnails: When the photos are so small, you need a magnifying glass just to see them. Are they hiding something or just bad at resizing images?
- Sleepy Sellers: Pictures of people sleeping in their beds. Nothing says cozy like a random stranger snoring away.
- Unkept Houses: Dirty dishes piled high, unmade beds, and clutter everywhere. If the agent can’t be bothered to suggest tidying up, what else are they neglecting?
- Selfie Reflections: Taking a picture of themselves taking a picture in the bathroom mirror. It’s like a bad social media post, not a real estate listing.
3. Misleading and Unauthorized Photos: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Lies
It’s one thing to take a bad photo; it’s another to use a photo that doesn’t even belong to the property you’re selling. Yet, this happens far too often.
- Wrong Property Pics: Using images from a completely different home because they look nicer. This isn’t a game of “guess which house this is.”
- Dated Photos: Showing how the house looked in 2005 when it was in mint condition, not its current state of disrepair.
- Unauthorized Use: Borrowing photos from other listings or websites without permission. This isn’t just unprofessional; it’s potentially illegal.
4. The Mirror Mishaps: Unintended Cameos
Bathroom photos are tricky, but surely, a professional can manage, right? Wrong. Many seem to forget that mirrors reflect. The result? Endless pictures of agents awkwardly captured mid-snap, sometimes in less-than-flattering poses.
- The Classic Selfie: The agent stands proudly in the mirror, phone in hand, seemingly oblivious to their accidental photobomb.
- The Unaware Background: Random items strewn about, including personal hygiene products and sometimes even more embarrassing personal items.
Conclusion
Real estate marketing should be about showcasing a property in the best possible light, but sometimes it turns into an unintentional comedy show. Agents, take note: Pay attention to your property descriptions, make sure your photos are clear and professional, and remember that mirrors reflect everything. Selling a home is serious business—let’s leave the absurdity out of it.
PS. Realtors, step up your game. Your listings are a reflection of your professionalism. Literally. Pay attention to details, use accurate and authorized photos, and always strive for the best presentation. It’s not just about selling a house; it’s about selling it well.